N’ DayS sAid…

kemarin gw jalan sm keluarga tante gw [minus suaminya, yg memang g gawe jd ga bs ikutan]. mayan seru juga! secara sebelumnya, dr pagi smpe siang, kt cuma stayed d apartment n doing ‘nothing’. bored? abeissshh!!! dr apartment kt langsung cabs k rumahnya te ati [d daerah inland sana]. dropped daniel off utk latihan drum sm pa nugroho. gw sempet maenin alat drumnya. hehehe.. seru! seru! kebetulan rmhnya dekeeet pisan sm yang namanya inland center sob! alhasil, kt shopping dweehh!!*grins* tante gw sibuk beli titipan nyokap, kaka n adek2 gw. sementara gw sibuk sm anaknya yg paling bontot.. "si monyonk lovina".. gw ikut2an manggil dia "monyonk" secara kaka2nya manggil dia begono! dah gitu, ni anak memang paling hobi monyongin bibirnya! bhueheuheue.. bottom line, gw ga belanja dsitu.. biz ga ada yg bikin gw interested.. well, ada sii.. sbarro pizza d food court!*laugh* damnit, i luv tht pizza! ga perduli dweeh kl bs nambah endut.. phan ada teh kurus to da rescueee!!!*winks* tapi berkat tu teh kurus, gw sukses menjabat ‘hansip’nya apartment tante gw. gimana ga?? tu teh bereaksi sekitar jam 2-4 pagi n kontinyu pula! gimana gw bs tidur dng nyaman n damai kl gitu caranya? hmphh.. beneran dweeh.. yg namanya mo kurus memang perlu pengorbanan! ya ngga sob?! ngomong2 bout pengorbanan, gw agak bingung nii.. do we always have to sacrifice ourselves to get [everything] what we want? harus sebegitu ekstrimnya kah? bukannya knapa2, karna tiap gw baca n denger kata ’sacrifice’/pengorbanan.. kayanya ga enak aja d dengernya d kuping gw. cuz sukses bikin gw ‘merinding’.. beraaat sob! well, hidup tuwh dah berat yaa.. so ngga usa dweeh yg namanya sok2an nyari masalah/perkara lg yg bs nambah berat! live ur life to da fullest! basiii mungkin.. but heyy.. who knows what’ll happen in our life right nxt seconds.. rite?

agak-agak weird memang.. di saat kita ngerasa udah yakin banget bhw sesuatu yang kita punya is da right one.. ehh, tnyata stlh di tilik n di kilik-kilik [lho??].. keyakinan kita itu totally wrong! hmph.. namanya juga manusia kaan?? kl ga pernah buat salah, bukan manusia namanya! mgkn pada bertanya2 n bingung, kenapa tiba-tiba gw membuka blogs gw kali ini dng bahasa yang sok-sok filosofis? atau bahkan sok ‘wise’? ya itu diaaa.. krn gw baru ngalamin yang namanya salah ‘keyakinan’ thdp sesuatu dlm diri n hdp gw.. weitss! jangan di hub2kan sm agama loh?! ga ada hubungannya sm sekali!

sebenernya sii biasa2 aja ko, bahkan ga penting.. tp utk gw mayan penting juga.. cuz b’hub dng diri gw sob! lately, gw bolak balik had a crush on some guys. ga perlu lah di sebut nama2nya. ga penting juga soalnya n ga etis! gw pikir setelah gw broke up sm mantan gw, gw bs menjadi seorang manusia yg gagah nan perkasa bak seorang laki-laki.. yang tabah, tegar n berwibawa!*from da heart nii ngetiknyaa* ternyataaa.. ngga tuu! boro2 tabah, tegar n berwibawa.. pas denger ato tau mantan gw dah punya cewe lagi.. ‘berantakan’ sob hati n hdp gw! ngga smpe parah2 amat.. tp akibatnya gw jd ya itu tadi.. jd gampang ’suka’ ke cowo! haiyaah! i think those were not love though.. lebih menjurus ke arah LUST! yang namanya liat cowo lucu dikiit, langsung klepek2! segitu norax nya gw waktu itu! untungnya gw bukan ‘itchy woman sejati’.. wadooohh!! bisa berantakan dunia persilatan judulnya! yg pastinya gw bs kena makian n sumpah serapah dari para ‘perempuan’ lainnya. sekali lagi, thx GOD i’m not that kind of person. sifat gw yg ini patut gw banggain, cuz sifat gw yg inilah yg bs mengontrol jalur lalu lintas otak gw terutama untuk urusan suka2an/naksir2an/cinta2an dan sebagainyaaa!

balik lagi ke urusan salah keyakinan tadi, sebelumnya gw pernah had a crush on A - B - C - dst.. n mo tau apa yg terjadi??? ternyata satu2nya cowo yg gw fall in luv with.. ngga jauh2 n ada di dpn mata gw sendiri!! orang yg selalu gw rusuhin setiap gw lagi iseng n nothing to do.. orang yang pernah gw smsin pada saat gw mabal [dr heineken thirst].. orang yang pernah ngobrol n ketawa-ketiwi sm gw di sbux citos almost 4 jam.. orang yang pernah gw smsin ‘i miss u’.. orang yang bikin gw nangis di mobil otw pulang dr citos [secara gw liat dia dtg sm cewenya].. orang yang swaranya suka bikin gw kangen.. well, nuff said.. he’s da one! 

"Notice Me"

Ohh I wanna let you know
That I’ll always love you baby

Sometime I think about
Everything that we’ve been through
And I pray that you would just open your eyes
I love you I need you
So please don’t throw our love away

Since the day you and I snuck away to be alone
I knew from that night something special went on
It must have been the first kiss
You told me that nobody else in the world made you feel this
I felt the same way too but nothing stays the same
I’m sorry for the tears I’m sorry for the pain
You were the one that always made things right
I promise you this though you got a friend for life
Maybe one day we can try it again
And maybe things can be a little different
So lets just kiss and say goodbye
Cuz I really cant stand the pain of seeing you cry

I’ve given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don’t even notice me
I’ve given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don’t even notice me

All that’s mine is yours that’s what I said
Treat you with love and respect in everyway
You wanted I gave you need me I was there
Now you treat like if I’m not here
I love you and I need you don’t wanna let go
If you want somebody else please let me know
Can’t take it no more I feel I’m dying inside
Is this the price I pay for handing you my life?
I know I’m not perfect but I truly cared
So when you wake up one morning and I’m not there
Just remember I loved you it will never be the same
Gave you everything and you threw it all away

I’ve given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don’t even notice me
I’ve given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don’t even notice me

I gave you my good and my bad
My heart and my soul,
My trust my money my time,
What more can you ask from a man
Even when times are hard
I held out my arms and held you
Even excepted you through whatever weather
But now I feel it we’re at the end of the rope
Whatever we had now I gotta let go
Nights like this I wish raindrops would fall
To cover my tears
Wishing I could replace all those wasted years
Of loving someone who couldn’t love me back
And now again I gotta start from scratch
But I know I’ve given you my everything

I’ve given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don’t even notice me
I’ve given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don’t even notice me

[NB RIDAZ ft. AngeLiNa]

kmrn maLam, gw-keluarga tante gw [minus om yOssy+lovina]-taNte ati-eda-daRyl n david, cabs ke san fRanciSco. gw eXcited bgt secaRa ini peRtama kalinYa gw bakal ngeLiat yg namaNya SF.. n ga cm d fiLm2 aJa! haHaha.. perJalanannya mayan jauuh sOb! 7 jam via hiGhway! gw smpt gaNtian nyetiR dr mulai baKerfieLds smpe dkt2 mo mSk SF. stlh itu switcHed lagi k tante ati, kRn dia tw jaLanan dsaNa. bocoRan, tnyata she used to live tHere b4. owh, no woNder!

kita smpt keNa stuck pas mo masuK SF.. b’huBung weEkday n banyak yg gawe, otoMatis pas mo masuk Bay bRidge, ngantRinya ampuN2an.. UntuNgnya, taNte ati masuKin mbl k caR pOol.. bebas hamBatan n itung2 ngiRit 3 dollaRs! heHehe.. i was told tHat SF has 7 bRidGes wHich aRe:

Golden Gate BridGe, san fRancisCo/oakLand bay briDge, caRquiNez bridGe, BeNicia-maRtiNez bridge, RicHmond/san raFael bRidge n two otheR briDges.. nyebRang k SF, kt ngelewatin Oakland bay Bridge dmaNa kalo ngeliat k arah kaNan, golden gate bs keliatan. sayaNgnya kmRn pagi cuaca SF mayan fOggy alias b’kaBut [buKan poLusi sob!], so we cOuldn’t c the bRidge cleaRly. stlh msk, taNte ati ngaraHin mobil k aRah marina. wHy? cuz kita mo beli ticket utk nyeBrang k aLcatRaz.. Maan, td pagi SF dinGiinnya miNta ampun. BeruntuNglah kita smua yg meMang dah prepared bw jaCket masing2. stlh dpt ticKets, kita breakfaSt di BouDin [sup nya wueNaaak abeisshh!!] tRus ngeliat2 k souvenir shOps yg ada d sebeRangnya.. N seLama tour + ngeLiat2 aLcatRaz.. i couLdN’t stop thinKing.. wHoaa, finally i c it by mySeLf! secaRa sblmnya gw cm dengeR namanya d seBut2.. dr alcatRaz kt langsuNg k golden Gate n fOto2 smpe puaaSs!! dr saNa, tante ati bawa kita k tempat kapal2 layaR.. asliiii, kewreennn abeisshh soob!! ga nyesel daaggh! br dr saNa, b’huBung dah pd hoengeR.. kt makan d cHina tOwn! Duuh, kl mo d ceRitain smuaNya yg ada gw bs ga tiduR2 nii.. secaRa skrg dah jm 4.20 pagi! kita td smpe d apaRtment skitaR jm 1an gitu. eda suKses nyetiR all da way frOm SF. well dOne gurL!!

well, i tHink i gotta Jet nOw [k puLau 'kapOek'] it’S beEn an unfoRgetaBle tRip i’ve eveR had.. caN’t wait to c all the phOtos being developed n pRinted! so tHat i can put sOme in ma fs.. n sHaRe da Joy of ma oNe day ‘touR’ in SF yesteRday!

-cHeeRs-

haRi kelima gw d LA [tepatnYa wateRman - San beRnardiNo], gw suKses ga kemaNa2. spending da whoLe day cLeaNing up n re-oRganiZing auDy’s clOset!*jeweR audy* maAn, heR cloSet was liKe a cRashed-sHip! u’ve haD to dive iN if U waNna go inSide. tRust me! HahaHa.. btw, audy is ma blood-Related cOusin thOugh. heR mOm’s ma mom’s siSta. back to the cLoset tHingy, we did sPend almOst 8 houRs to get it all dOne. bOoo.. pegeL2 baDan gw! asli dweEh.. yg sebelumnYa ada plaNning gOing out with damsKy jg sukSes d canCelled. i’ll maKe it up 2 him sOon tHough. pRomise! mOod gw haRi ini berantaKan, mungkin kRn gw msi sakit. yg tadinya cm flu..Cough..deMam..ehh skrg meRambah ke tenggoRokan gw. peRiiih n sakit bgt! duNno why? tRus truus, d leheR gw sblh kaNan spt ada jendoLan yg kl gw miRingin pala gw k kaNan, it huRts tOo! hwaaahh!! wHat da heCk is gOing on?

um, gw ga tw sebeneRnya gw hoMesick apa ga? tapi gw kaNgeEeeen bgt k ma famiLy back at hOme d JakaRta. ma bestfRiends. ma luvLy cat-chaRlie. UFM [i do miSs it!]. aNd sO on.. hWaaAaahhh.. i reaLLy waNna go baCk sOon! well, i tHink i’m offiCially missing JakaRta!

finally, ktmuan sm bpk 1 ini d ten ren’s [diamond bar]. gw ksana dtemenin sm audy, daniel, jeffry, fandro n melan. dingin2 minum bobba! makinan parah flu gw, secara gw memang g flu berat, dasyat n edan gini! alhasil melan ksi gw obat flunya dia. thx ya jeng! sukses tephar gw stlh minum tu obat. n ta-daa! flunya agak b’kurang, tp pusing n cenut2nya msi smpe skrg. seru bgt smalam duduk2 d ten ren’s [bener ga ya gw ngetik namanya?] kl urusan kedinginan, ga usa d tanya.. dingin edan smalam dsana! untung gw bela2in bawa syal gw.. btw, snangnya ktmuan sm temen s’almamater d oel. walopun ga smpt reminish the old days back in high school, at least bs ktmuan lagi stlh bertahun2 [since senior high school graduation back in the year '96].

  caca aka. candra, pertama kali gw kenal dr ufm. yep! as she wrote in her testimonial for me, gw d bilang pendengar setianya ufm! hahahahaha.. bukan pendengar setia, yg lebih klop ‘banci reQuest’! rite beibh?! :p gw inget bangeth non 1 ini siaran stlh jamnya rama. dr jam 9 smpe jm 10 [bener ga beibh??*ga yakin gene*] pokokna begitulah.. smpe akhirnya dia bolak-balik ganti schedule, bahkan pernah lenyap dr peredaran utk beberapa waktu. tnyata ma bestfriend 1 ini paling hobi yg namanya ‘molor’! yep! that’s so caca!*laugh* yg serunya lagi, tnyata caca itu 1 almamater sm gw. satu angkatan d bwh gw, tp sukses graduated duluan dr gw. senep? ngga juga! mo gantung diri d pu’un toge? PASTINYAA!!*sniff* anyhow, gw smpt surprised bgt, karna waktu itu [akhir2 bln des'o4 kmrn] caca pnh siaran pagi brg rama. n one day, gw pnh d tlf langsung secara gw br bangun tidur utk on air! happy bgt gw. boo,pengalaman pertama on air d ufm soalnya! dah gitu, caca n rama pula yg g siaran kaan! sutralaah, dr situ gw mulai deket, dekeet n dekeeet sm caca. caca tuwh orangnya cuek bangeth, ga perduli setan [kl ngeliat ato pas2an sm setan beneran gmn ca??].. yg pastinya dia ini juga smart, bae, perhatian k tmn2nya, sayang bgt k lakinya, ..ko lama2 gw ky nulis utk testi lo ya beibh?? hahahahaha.. gw kangeeen juga k non 1 ini! ternyata bener tuwh kata pepatah *saaahhhhhh* dari mata turun k hati.. d mana maxudnya [mnrt versi gw nii] dari ufm turun k u lovers.. ngarti ga?? [bukan pertanyaan utk caca, lbh menjurus k yg g baca blog gw ini] kl ga ngarti, yaweiz.. pokokna maxud gw ya gitu itu dweeh!! caca, lo ngarti kaan beibh??*meyakinkan diri gw kl non 1 itu ngarti maxud gw*

LuV u siS!! miSs U liKe goKiL niiiii!! *kl yg ini pasti caca ngarti! hehehe..*

  well, ok.. foto d sebelah kiri itu foto gw n one of ma very bestfriends, nina [we hv da same nickname, don't we beibh? hehehe] fotonya mayan jadul juga.. jaman2nya awal gw mulai kuliah ato mgkn pas gw baru balik dr amrik? hwaah, don’t remember da exact time the pic was being taken. so ‘kay laah! yang pastinya walaupun belakangan ini kita jarang bahkan ga pernah ketemuan lagi [paling mentok smsan].. walaupun kita dah sibuk sm urusan masing2.. walaupun kita punya sahabat2 lainnya [yang tentunya jauh lbh 'dekat'].. tapi yang namanya a friend in need is a friend indeed [correct me if i'm wrongly put da words in da rite order..] kl gw ada keribetan baik dalam skala biasa2 aja smpe skala yg luaaarr biasa, gw slalu nyari nina! that was why when i faced a technical prob up here, i tried to contact her.. n i hope dat she could help me out of it.. n she did! nin, thx ya dah bole ngerepotin lo beibh.. jangan pernah fed up yaaa.. u’r still one of ma very bestfriends ever! luv u n miss u.. ** muaaaacccchhhhhhh **

   yep! ga seperti judul lagunya joey mcintyre "LA Blue".. tnyata LA is not BLUE!! yg ada malah warna-warni ky pelangi! hehehehe..  apa mungkin mata gw dah t’kontaminasi warna2 d seputaran bandara LAX yg penuh sm segala macam orang dari seluruh pelosok amerika, ato bahkan dunia itu?! hm, bs jadi mata n otak gw mule ga sinkron karna kelamaan duduk dalam pesawat dr jakarta-s’pore, s’pore-taipei, taipei-LA?? bisa jadi! beruntunglah gw karna dr selama perjalanan dr s’pore smpe LA, gw duduk deket buleleng yg cute itu, itung2 hiburan buat mata gw. senep boo! almost 24 hrs ngabisin waktu duduk-tidur-makan (nyebutnya kudu di ulang smpe 5x) dlm pswt. alhasil, skrg smbl isi blogs, gw d temenin sm audya [sepupu gw yg sibuk sm "HP" barunya dr jkt], daniel  n secangkir bsr slimming tea yg khusus gw bawa dr jakarta.. 

damsky yg tadinya gw pikir bs ktmuan d LAX, secara dia juga mo anter temennya yg mo balik k indo, sukses ga ktmuan! dia smpt sms k simpati gw [thx to my luvly cell ph which is already penganut paham 'tri-band'], tp b’hub pulsa gw juga dah tephar aka. habis bis bis.. jadilah gw ga bs ksi tau k dia, kl gw dah keluar dr parking lot otw k apartment tante gw d daerah waterman [san bernardino]. otw k apartment, kt mampir n makan dulu d Mix Bowl.. ini surganya para pecinta mie! segala macam mie ada bo di resto itu. n one thing 4 sure, there’ll always be many indonesian ppl going there! well, that what makes LA is not Blue cuz i can ease my ‘homesick pain’ away everytime i meet indonesian ppl while i’m here..

  bbrp minggu yg lalu *males nginget2 tepatnya* gw, belma, dera n dan (this is a person’s name for sure..) dtg ke acara mambo jambo off air party episode IV di PH. kita sampe sana mayan ‘kepagian’, jam 10 lbh dikit gitu. alhasil, kita b4 naik ke 21 (liat2 sekalian menuhin ‘panggilan alam’ bo! dah nahan pipis dr mulai brgkt dr rmh. edan!). dah puas liat2 di 21 yg sebenernya ga ada yg bs di liat itu, kita turun ke bwh lg n masuk ke bar. teteuuup, msi sepi (menurut ukuran gw)! untungnya mambo jambo dynamic duo djs (ndix n agood) pasang lagu2 yg creme, jadilah kita manteng di slh 1 meja pojokan n started enjoying da party. mnrt gw, crowd nya ga seheboh sebelumnya. tp utk ukuran bar PH yg ga luas2 amat, bole di bilang ‘crowded’. 1 hal yg gw suka n made me happy, finally gw bs ktemu n kenalan sm u lovers lainnya (candi n anya). 2 pere yang asik n fun to be friend with. it’s nice to finally meet u girls!(",) oia, not to forget, kita sukses naik ke atas bar n jogedan brg penyiar2 ufm such as ragiel n mario. giel, ur dance moves were cool! luv it! hehehe.. kl mario, well.. he’s still da superstar, isn’t he? we (incl. me) enjoyed da party so much n can’t wait for da next mambo jambo off air party. thx 4 da goodie bag though, secara gw pd akhirnya ngeh there was a bottle of mixmax drink inside!

maunya gw sebenernya cepet2 selesaiin skripsi gw yang najesh2an bikin gw ribet sendiri. bukan krn faktor bahan sebenernya. gw rasa gw milih dosen pembimbing yg terlalu perfeksionis, which has made me wanna kill myself anytime soon!*sigh* smpe kapan pun gw akan memproklamirkan statement ‘i’m not a stupid person’ cuz it’s true! i’m not stupid. tapi kenapa utk urusan sebuah skripsi ko gw ga bs nembus?? okay, i admit it now. adakalanya gw kena virus ‘males’ saking terlalu down karena skripsi gw hrs bolak balik di revisi. pengen bgt gw bilang ke dosen pembimbing gw itu, kenapa ga ibu aja yg susun skripsi saya! tp ga pernah keluar dr mulut gw. bs di PHK jadi mahasiswa bimbingannya bo! panjang lagi urusannya nti. ribet lah. kadang gw suka mikir, itu kan skripsi gw. hak gw mo milih populasi apa n sampel populasi dng tingkat kesalahan berapa persen. hak gw juga utk defending my own choices. tapi ya itu, ga akan pernah gw bs nuntut hak gw so far. yang ada cuma kewajibaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnn that i have to face lately. tanpa perlu di kasi tau, gw tau kewajiban gw sbg mahasiswa but not that way. hmphh..

one day gw dpt sms dr denni yg isinya about soft opening klub 7 hari jumat kmrn. n katanya kl mo invitations juz call him immediately. i did call him, n he offered n promised to give me some invitations. yep! gw nyusul bpk 1 itu ke kantornya (aka. rumah dj romy) di daerah menteng sana. nyaris gw keterusan ke arah salemba. thanks to ulil yg rela nemenin gw stlh urusan kita b2 di kampus beres. bo, ternyata disitu ada tokonya jabotabek shopping! dah sering gw baca di majalah2 tp gw ga pernah yg namanya dtg ksana. sembari nunggu denni yg lg ribet, gw sm ulil liat2 ke dlm. *dash* ada 1 blazer funky yg bnr2 bikin gw fell in luv at da 1st sight gitu. sumpah, keren bgt! ga pake babibu gw lsg ke kasir n paid for it. ulil smpe geleng2 pala n cengar-cengir aja ngeliat gw. abis gimana dwoong, jarang2 gw ke distro n kebetulan gw memang lg nyari blazer model itu. terakhir mantau di slh 1 FO di bdg, harganya jauuh lbh mahal bo!! back to denni, dia ksi gw invitation yg pd akhirnya nyaris menuhin bangku tengah mobil gw. hehehe.. gimana ngga, dr invitations utk hr sabtu ini smpe hr kamis depan komplit! edan juga tu klub 7. alhasil gw jd kebingungan mo ksi ke sapa. den, thx a lot 4 da invitations. i couldn’t come 2nite cuz almost all my bestfriends couldn’t come either. n perut gw dalam keadaan melintir dr sekitar jm 7an. maag gw kambuh. telat makan. ko bs ya gw smpe lupa makan gt? ajaib!

trus lagi, gw msi ‘utang’ ke temen gw utk dtg ke kantornya dlm rangka bawa lamaran kerja. perkakasnya dalam 1 menit juga bs siap, cuma the problem is the time. kl di pikir2 gw kan un-employed, tp gw lbh sering ngukur jakarta di banding yg pd gawe. adaaa aja hal2 n tugas2 ‘kenegaraan’ yg kudu gw bikin n kerjain tiap hari. bener2 ga enak hati juga gw ke temen gw itu. mudah2an dia bs ngertiin. tp gw yakin he’s an understanding person (so far, ga tau nti).